Often the first ranges of thoughts when you see the above words involve a lot of expletives followed by, "that's unfair"' and "how in blazes did it get to this?"
Guild or party chat has gone omiously quiet... then is followed by an explosion of volcanic proportions containing opinions and inuendo not necessarily involved with the topic at hand...
It then occurs to some onlookers, that normally social, happy, chatty players are now at each others throats and threatening one another... it all took approximately 30 seconds to completely ruin a players' experience and perception of the people they thought were nice folks.
How did it happen?
It is all in how we communicate. How do we get questions answered, opinions sought, appreciate comedy, feelings and achievements we experience in many walks of life, but expressly in WoW? We type... and type... and type.
Words on their own, have no emotion or inflection in tone or colour. We have to express emotions and generate language by forming pictures with words or structuring phrases to achieve an outcome. A picture says a thousand words... but for the most part we can only type. So lets have a look at an overveiw of why we play, why we react the way we do and what can we do to prevent the 30 second volcanic erruption?
* as a global network we come from all walks of life, a wide range of cultures, ages, and personal experiences. What is a normal everyday expression in one culture, may be inflammatory, degrading and emotionally debilitating in another. What is a joke or word play in one culture is defamatory and discrimanatory to another cultural group.
* some people are naturally quick witted and have excellent communication skills however, that same intent expressed by another less adept person may cause anything from slight embarassment to significant emotional trauma and anger
* teen speak is different from kidspeak and both differ markedly to adult communication. How often has a parent been heard lamenting, "I wish I knew what language my kids are speaking"? Kids old enough to play WoW through to the older teens love and appreciate being treated and included on an adult level, but need the stimulation of other people their own age. This can create inconsistancies. Kids can be led in the right direction if managed appropriately.
* when someone isnt feeling the best, either physically or mentally, WoW is a often where a player comes to escape and sometimes socially debrief or unwind with fellow players that they place a certain amount of trust in. We interpret what we read and write, and consequently, react more negatively than when we are well rested and in a positive frame of mind
* often we get lazy while communicating... "why type an extra word or line when I know what I mean"
* never type in anger... often a diplomatic /dnd (do not disturb), /afk (asleep ... sorry that would be away from keyboard) or exit strategy is the best way to handle an upsetting situation in the short term
* chastising a player, however far out of line should never occur in a public forum
* if you have conflicting opinions, take it to a group / party chat... often whispers escape at the worst possible moment
* good communicators are able to either difuse a situation by showing understanding, guiding and not taking sides. These people become, almost by default, the reluctant negotiators and as a result fade away from the game as it becomes emotionally hard work
* good leaders often sit back and see where a situation is going first, gather facts, then deal with a situation. Most negative situations resolve themselves with a little commonsense and time. Occasionally this is interpreted as sitting on the fence and poor leadership, when in fact it is the total opposite
* time and reasoning expectations are different for different people. An all too frequent event occurs when some people expect events to happen quickly, they want everything "yesterday" and believe everyone should drop what they are doing to help them achieve their own targets... If requests are ignored, the player then feels ignored and upset... usually with negative effects for a number of the following weeks. Yet if the person is given an appology and a reason why they are unable to assist at that particular time, the event is defused, the person may well be assisted in one way or another, and the "feeling of being part of a team" is stronger
* "They just dont get it... they must be stupid"... is the bullies escape clause, and never appropriate. To type it in an open forum is horrific
* on rare occasions Officers must be able to type STOP... all chat is to cease, as if an officer has to use this tool, it is definitely time for everyone to sit back and take stock of what has been going on at that time.
* once dealt with, never bring it up again. The only time this is not applicable is where a warning for behaviour has been issued by an officer and approved by the GM
* swearing as with many other words has context when verbalised... that same context cannot always be implied in writing. It is by far better to avoid it altogether in a written environment, especially where a platform such as WoW is well known for having kids around, and just because one individual might be swearing after 10pm, that does not mean everyone that is attendant to the conversation is also in the same time zone.
* emotion can be implied in limited cases by utilising some keyboard tools... :D or lol are two very common examples...
* "in-jokes" or "you had to be there" type humour should be kept in the group of origin
* any one of us should be able to sign on and feel safe from ridicule, inuendo, language barriers and be able to learn, socialise and have fun.
* respect and commonsense...
Thats my 2 cents worth for this week... and for the post 1975, a dollars worth of what I hope is an informative post that will lead to better communication and social security in our guild.
Chique
(Web Mistress Chique decided to move on with her WoW life shortly after writing this post)
